This was for English, but I liked it.

Where I Live, What I Live For

I went to the woods, because I wished to have a personal experience with nature. I did not wish to live in ignorance, being oblivious to all around me. I wanted to travel deep, to discover what has always been right in front of my eyes, to learn more about myself, to have a transcendental experience. Most would be cautious, traveling into the woods with absolutely no knowledge of how to navigate them, and a camera, to document my life changing event, that would take place in a mere few hours.

I made my first philosophical observance immediately. We are materialistic; we base our lives on obtaining goods. We try our hardest to protect our possessions. Clutching my camera to my chest, putting the hood up on my sweatshirt, turning off my cell phone, I felt scared. I felt detached. I no longer had a connection to anyone. I was there to find a connection with nature. I was there to find a connection with myself.

Pressing on, I felt even more lost, insignificant, small. I happened upon a fallen tree. Its roots expressed its age, its experiences. Climbing on top of it, I pondered, is this what will be made of me when I pass over? Will I be walked on? Its strange, to wonder what will be said of you; to be acquainted with the idea of your legacy, with mother nature so directly. Deeper in, I came to a younger tree. A tire swing hanging from its boughs ironically symbolized its difference from the older tree, it expressed its youth.

I felt a tick cruising my neck, and quickly swatted it away. Tightening my hood, I ran as fast as a could, ready to end my journey, when I came to another realization. When life throws obstacles in your path, you can’t give up that easily, yet; I went through the rest of my journey installed with much paranoia.

Spotting footprints, a greater fear presented itself. Who was this stranger? Examining the footprint more closely, I came to the conclusion it was my own footprint. Sometimes we are so caught up in our own activities, so caught up in what surrounds us, we don’t recognize ourselves. By then, I had learned all I could about myself and my life. Taking all I had learned, all I had observed, I cautiously made my way back, to the world that had already been discovered. I felt refreshed, like I finally understood. I felt for the first time, my eyes were torn away from the technology and the materials I clung to, and I was able to see where I live, what I live for.

Dear Blog Man,

Steph told me to have that be the title this entry. She’s weird, I know. (KiddingKidding!)

I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for a week. I’m finally going to try driving, because I haven’t tried yet, even though I’ve had my permit a week. Also, this weekend, my dad wants to get two cats. Right now, I’m in the car, and don’t have internet connection, so this will be a long entry.

So, about Dollhouse. Its on tonight. If you’re reading this and its around nine, go watch it on Fox! If its after nine, go watch it on Hulu.com!

It’s a Joss Whedon Show. Joss Whedon is also the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly. If you know me, you know I am obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Really, really obsessed.

Anyway, Dollhouse has been on for three episodes so far. The main character, Echo, is played by Eliza Dushku. She played Faith on Buffy. Echo is a “doll” who lives at the “dollhouse.” Echo has no memories. She walks around the dollhouse with the personality of a child. She can’t remember anything on her own. There are a couple of other dolls in the house with her, including her friend Sierra.

You may be thinking, what’s interesting about a girl who walks around with no personality, and no memories? Well, people go to the dollhouse, and rent Echo. The computer guy, Topher, implants the memories of whatever type of person the buyer wants, in Echo.

For example, the first episode, Echo was a hostage negotiator, and helped save the life of a little girl. The second episode, Echo was just supposed to be an adventurous girlfriend for this guy, who turned out to be a real creep. After they had gone hiking deep in the woods, (and had sex. Yikes.) the guy told her she had five minutes to run, and then he would hunt her down. That is what he hired her for, not for a girlfriend. Echo beat him, obviously, but the relationship between Echo and her handler was presented in this episode.

Echo’s Handler, Boyd, really had a strong dislike for Echo at first. We can tell their relationship has developed, because he cares for her. She is an innocent person with no memories, and it is his job to protect her. Echo always remembers her handler though, because of the code words he uses. When it is time for her to get her memories erased, he tells her it is time for her treatment. She gets her memories erased, wakes up in the chair, and is back to the helpless state without memories. She believes she just feel asleep.

Many Whedon fans have already given up on the show, despite numerous chilling endings, and twists that are sure to come. Already, Echo, in the innocent form without someone’s memories, is starting to remember. She remembers parts of her “missions” after her memories should have been erased. This season will obviously develop on this, as we all root Echo on, hoping she remembers. It is heartbreaking to see Echo implanted with someone’s memories, to help someone, and then lose the memory of this.

There are two other story lines happening in the show. There is a cop, named Paul, who knows that there is a dollhouse out there. He is trying to find it, but faces many difficulties. He receives a picture of Caroline, and we find out Caroline was Echo, before her memories were erased. We don’t know how Caroline became a doll. Did they force her? Did she do it willingly? Paul wants to find out, and hopefully stop this from happening to other innocents. The man he keeps getting tips from, however, is actually another doll, Victor. Dollhouse is throwing him off, and trying to get him killed, anything to stop him from finding them.

There a few other characters I have failed to mention., The woman in charge of the clinic is Adelle. There’s a man who wants Echo to “go to the attic” (whatever that means.) Viewers don’t like him, because he wants her gone. He even talks rudely to innocent Echo. There is a doctor named Dr. Claire. Dr. Claire played by Amy Acker, previously on Angel, has three scars covering her face. She got them from a previous doll, Alpha, which brings me to that story.

Not much is known of Alpha. So far, we are aware that Alpha was previously a doll, until something went wrong. He went nuts, killed a lot of people, scarred the doctor, and killed all the dolls, except for Echo. Somehow, he has a connection with Echo, since he left her alive. There is also a scene, at the end of one episode, of a man, sitting there naked, watching a video of Caroline, aka Echo.

So this season, the story will hopefully develop on:
1. Echo gaining memories
2. Alpha
3. Paul Ballard searching for Dollhouse.

Sounds good, right? Wow, that was long.

Now, Go Watch it.

Dear You,

Dear You,

When I came home from school today, I decided to take a nap. During the nap, I had a crazy dream!

Finally.

It started off with me in guitar class. Everyone was in a “fight.” Only, the guitar class was different. Today it was taking place in the wrestling room. I decided to leave, because I wasn’t feeling well, and when I walked out the door I turned up in some house.

At this house, I just sat down on the couch and started watching TV, so im guessing it was my house. I was relaxing when I heard the front door open and someone shout my name then slam the bathroom door. Through the door they shouted “Get me a pair of scissors!” so I did. When I got them, I went to the door and knocked, and this strange looking man answered. I had never seen him before, but in the dream I was acting like I knew him.

Standing there with this man, I noticed he was crying so I asked him why and he said she left him again. Then grabbing at his very long hair, which was to his shoulders, he cried that he needed to cut it off now. His glasses very foggy from tears, and I remember in the dream I was just annoyed by this. In the dream I felt this was a normal thing that I had to deal with, in regards to this man. In real life, I was terrified. I could say that it was at this point the dream turned into a nightmare.

Once the man in the bathroom slammed the door shut again, my mom called me and asked if I wanted to go on a day trip with her, my brother, cousin Susan, and cousin Mallory. She was down the hallway, so I agreed and walked to her. My surroundings turned into outdoor, and we were all standing by the car. We all got in, me sitting in the front with my mom driving, when my mom said that she hoped the bridge was open because we had to cross a lake. Well, the bridge wasn’t.

Since the bridge wasn’t open, we drove across the shallow part of the lake, eerily enough we kept driving on top of the water. I was scared because we were obviously in pretty deep after a few minutes and speeding, and my mom said not to worry, and that’s when you drive really fast you stay on top of the water. Then we reached a different bridge. A very narrow bridge that I would be afraid walking across, and starting going up it, over the lake. Water was rushing at us, it felt so real, and I was freaking out. For some reason, and the top of this bridge, we took the wrong tracks, and our car got connected to tracks from a roller coaster. My mom shouted to everybody to hold on and I remember being so scared for Mallory, because she was sitting in her Susan’s lap and didn’t have a seatbelt of her own. Luckily, the roller coaster was at its end and we only went down a couple of hills. Looking behind me, it was lucky that was all, because there were the biggest loops of a roller coaster I have ever seen.

The car stopped back at the start, just like at a normal roller coaster, and everybody got out. Now, to get back to the start of the lake, you had to ride what looked like a ski lift back. To make this part of the story shorter, everybody rode across the ski lift and was waiting on the other side. When it was my turn, I went to get in the ski left, and the man gave me a nasty look. It turns out it was the same man as earlier in the dream. His hair was shorter and his glasses were gone but it was definitely the same guy. For some reason dream me did not notice this. He started complaining to me about women, and that its so simple to snap my own seatbelt and close the bar. I told him, I could do that for myself, when his phone started ringing, so he told me to do it.

As I’m putting it on, he’s talking on the phone, first in English, then in Spanish, then French, then I wasn’t sure what, but just like watching a television show, there were subtitles at the bottom. He was telling some women on the phone that he would grab me, and that I was right in front of him. Then I heard the woman tell him to hurry up and do it, because I was in danger. I started rushing to get my ride started. I closed the bar but he opened it, as he hung up the phone, and of course grabbed me and started bringing me somewhere. Great! I looked up the lift and noticed my family was all safe so was not as scared, when this cop lady walked up to me and the guy, pointing a gun at him. I swear I know who she was, but I cant think of it! She had black hair and a French accent. Noticing the French accent made me wonder if she was actually bad or good.

Who were the good people? The lady on the phone told the guy to grab me because I was in danger, so were they good? The French lady popped up awfully quickly after the man grabbed me, so was she actually bad? I never found out. My dream ended.

Don’t you hate that.

I was a hostage in an intense dream, and it just ends, because of my stupid alarm!

Well, this was an example of how vividly I dream.

No, I did not make any of this up. It may seem as if I did, but I did not. I love it though.

Hopefully I have another dream tonight. This may make for some interesting reading. If not interesting, really weird reading.

I'll talk about Dollhouse tomorrow, since it comes on tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Dear Bloggy Guy

Dear Bloggy Guy,

Lots to tell you! Lots of good news. Here’s a list.

1. I got my permit!
2. I’m getting my braces off really soon!
3. I don’t have to sing my song in guitar!
4. I had a good day in school today!

I can’t wait to start driving. I can’t wait to get my braces off.
I’m so glad I don’t have to sing in guitar, Chad is for me.

This is a lame entry, you still need a name, and I need something interesting to write about tomorrow.

Right now I’m watching American Idol. No one can sing! So far, four people have gone, and have all gotten bad reviews.
I would hate being on American Idol. Can you imagine? I always imagine if I was on the show. The stress would be unbearable!
Something that I hate about watching American Idol, I feel so bad if someone embarrasses themselves. Its pretty weird, but once again, I imagine if I were them, how I would feel in that situation.

Gahh, this post is lame.

Oh, if anyone reads this. Watch Dollhouse on Fox Fridays at 9! I’ll talk about that tomorrow. Good idea. Good idea.

Dear John Doe

Dear John Doe,

Day two of blogging. I have one subscriber. (Hi Max!).

Today, in guitar class, I discovered I have to write a blues song. I’m fine with writing the song, but it turns out, I need to sing it!

Ohmygodohmygodicantsinginfrontofpeopleohmygod.
I think, on the day I have to sing it, I’m going to conveniently lose my voice.
Either that, or rap the song.

I had no dreams last night, sorry.

I don’t feel like getting into anything too deep today. It was a long day. I’ve been freaking out about this song I have to write. I need to turn in two lines of it tomorrow, and only have two words so far.
Scratch that, no words.

I need inspiration.

Maybe I’ll hold off on writing this, and receive some inspiration in school tomorrow.
This needs to be a good song.
After all, it is the blues, it needs to come from the soul.

I can’t just write two random sentences! Then its technically not the blues! The blues need to mean something! I can’t just write about something stupid like not being about to write something because this projects is stupid!

Told you I was freaking out.

Ahhhh, I’ll talk to you laterrrrrrr.

P.S. I have been using the word technically so frequently, I think I’m losing my mind.

Dear Blog,

Well hello there. Let me start off by saying, I’m going to have to give you a name. I feel bad, “Dear Blog” just seems too cliché. It takes me awhile to find names I really like though, so there may be a little wait. Anyway, the reason I am starting a blog is because I have recently bought my first laptop! I know what you are about to ask and yes, I do have a name for my laptop. His name is Peter Petrelli III. If it weren’t for Peter Petrelli III then you would not exist, so I find it fair that I tell you his story. Which brings me to my first anecdote…

Peter Petrelli III was born on February 21, 2009.

That was yesterday.

There is not much to learn of him, since he is a newborn, other than he is a laptop computer, owned by yours truly. I will tell you of his grandfather and father.

Peter Petrelli, the original, was born in June of 2006. The exact date is unknown. He was my first cell phone, and I loved him. I discovered his name one day, when watching the show Heroes. Its such a cool name. Peter did not have texting, but I shared many wonderful memories with him. Peter was a good phone, but he died.

Last June, Peter Petrelli the second came along. He was even more special than his dad, because he had texting!

That’s pretty much the whole story. It was a lot shorter and more boring than I expected.
Oh! You know what I forgot to mention? I forgot to mention who I am. We need to be introduced.

Hello, blog. I am JessicaRae. I like rainy days, and movies you have to watch twice. This of course, is only a couple of the many things I enjoy, but you will learn more about me eventually. When I “grow up,” which is really only in a year, I want to be an English teacher/Director/Screenwriter. Some good qualities about me, I’m honest, trustworthy, easy to get along with. Some bad, I’m quiet and sensitive.

Right now, I am at my father’s house. I come here every other weekend. Once I graduate, I’m going to live here.

I’ve got to admit, I have a lot of people to talk to you about. Not all of its good news either. Everything I say though, I’m sure they already know. I am definitely not the type of person to talk about people behind their back. I have absolutely no respect for people who do, and have grown to dislike a large number of people for doing so. If I have something bad to say about someone, I’ve already said it to their face.

So, I had a blog before, but it turned out to be really boring. All I would talk about is what I did that day. In this blog, I’m going to discuss everything. Past, present, and future. I’ll discuss dreams I’ve had also.

I’m an avid dreamer. I have very, very, very, veryveryveryvery vivid dreams. I’ve written short stories on my dreams, have attempted to write a book from one dream I had, and am in the process of writing a screenplay from another.

I think that was a good introduction.

Next post: I will try to find you a name and hopefully discuss some dreams I’ve had.

So, goodbye for now. (Yeah I need a new goodbye also.)
-Jess

Hey look, Peter!